Mr. Shizzles

 
Why the Monkey?

Go on a hard ride one day and you may find out.

We came up with the idea of the clanging monkey one day while doing a "hundred-mile dirt day" on Bull Mountain.

One of our group ended up riding with his head sideways and speaking in tongues. He recovered lying in a graveyard at a nearby Baptist Church.

We figured he was having a hard time concentrating because of all the screeching and clanging that was going on in his head! We adopted the idea and Mr. Shizzles became part of the shop.




Kyle Reese once said this about Mr. Shizzles : "Listen! And understand. That monkey is out there! It can't be bargained with, can't be reasoned with! It doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop. EVER!"

Cap'n Quint said this about his encounter with Mr. Shizzles during a 24 hour race : "And, you know, the thing about Shizzles... he's got crazy eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin' and all that clanging. Your vision turns red, and despite all the pray'n and the hollerin', he comes right in and rips you to pieces. You know by the end of that first few hours, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many times old Shizzles came calling, maybe every minute, maybe every five minutes. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On hour twelve, I passed a friend of mine on the trail, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. I thought he was asleep. I called to him to wake him up. Well, he'd been talking to ole Shizzles half the race and well, they weren't no talkin to him. The twenty-third hour. You know that was the time I was most frightened...waitin' for my final lap. I'll never ride a bicycle again. So, a hundred and forty-four men started that twenty-four hour race; three men come out and Shizzles took the rest, June the 29th, 1975. Anyway, I finished the race."

So, go out on a hard ride and either don't eat enough food or drink enough water and ole Mr. Shizzles will pay you a visit.

He's out there waiting...

Shizzle Encounters?

Have you had an encounter with Mr. Shizzles? We'd love to hear about it! This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and we'll post it verbatim on this page.